Unhappy Fools

Wisdom is only gained through life experiences. Amidst the folly of youth, it’s often assumed that wisdom will be gained later in life. But sometimes, it is not. There are both young & old fools in the world. What is it that prevents a young fool from becoming a wise elder? Is it destiny? Or perhaps a curse of sorts, bestowed upon the young fool?

Bad decision after bad decision, repeating the same actions and hoping for different results. Isn’t that insanity? Or is it stupidity? Either way, eventually, the cycle should break… Right? After so many failures the pressure intensifies, weighing on one’s psyche. Insomnia and depression would be understandable, yet blissful ignorance only dulls the warning signs. How? 

If one cannot please one’s self, why instead is their happiness traded for the approval of others? A greek chorus of negative, miserable spectators never pleased with the events of the show. A petulant paparazzi encouraging and admiring only the worst behaviors.

Begin to value yourself. Eliminate drama. Ignore your foolish pride or be cursed to become an old fool.

Can’t You See, What You Do to Me?

Over the threshold and home, an interlude plays softly as he enters
Flipped switches to the central ceiling fixtures, unresponsive
A note attached… “let’s make it an adventure”
Only clue illuminated by the candlelit sconces.
Deeper in the dark corridor, a sweet scent emanated
A game of cat & mouse initiated by the misses
First song fades out, to this room hubby was baited
Heard the patter of her feet she scattered fast and full of giggles.
You’re really trying to get creative with the love, missy
Badu switched from the soundbar to the Beats pill
Turned my back and then you slipped me a mickey
But all you gotta do is say yes, Jill.
Perched atop the bed, like a queen upon her throne
Soft caress of happiness
It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever know
To find my hide and seek champion.

Visions

No man has seen the things I’ve seen, both for myself and regularly

If there can be such thing as regularity living someone else’s fantasy

Where a blessing for one man, leads to a curse for another

Is this how it was intended? I didn’t see it quite like this

To imagine great successes on the backs of someone else

Still a portion of them think that this is justice at its best

To continue in this manner, should I really be this shocked?

When I probe into the future, I see shit we thought had stopped…

visions_by_kuldarleement-d6ux62dImage by Kuldar Leement

 

Resurrection & Fire

Somewhere surrounded only by the smoldering remnants of a fractured psyche, a man makes use of the smoldering embers. All formerly valuable possessions, long devoid of any meaningful value, are relegated to makeshift piles of timber. Yet, they were adaptable as is the man whom chooses he should be, and transform into something more designed for survival. Reborn amidst fault and smoke, the ladder that is chaos demands a sacrifice be made to forge atonement. A piece or pieces of the man must die or the whole will be devoured instead, as only death can pay for life.

The flicker of a lighter here is a bit ironic, given the circumstances. A man could use what was already provided to ignite a flame, but instead he chooses to create his own fire. And still let everything burn. All around him everything burns, yet he doesn’t use the blaze as a catalyst nor try to stop it. He is complicit with both stagnation and adaptation. When he inhales puffs of his smoke and theirs, a moment of clarity consumes him… Burn them all.

Burn the ideals of cultural excellence. Incinerate the societal norms. Torch the bourgeoisie. A man has no economic security, no financial freedom, and no social mobility, yet the man is rich. In visions & daydreams, all those who cling to antiquated ideas perished. Just as the man chooses his smoke, he has chosen his path. He knows he can ill afford to let the past dictate the future he now dreams, lest the same mistakes transpire. There are those he’d wish to save and those he could help along the way. But a man is much more wary now and focused on his own. The future seemed so bright yet still, though, it could just be the flames scorching everything remaining in sight-line.

Creatures of the Night

Angelic voices and devilish figures.

Such dangerous creatures come out in the night.

There’s no one to save you, 

The homies slipped too. 

Like “fuck, what’d I get myself into?”

As the Captain of ship,

dude that planned the whole trip.

You would think that I’d keep us on course.

But on islands of thought, so far from the mainland,

I’d let my brothers drift astray.

There was noise all about, from my boys in and out, when I heard someone singing along.

As I turned there she was almost singing to me,

in a way that was hard to resist.

Being drawn to the sound, I approached with a smile

her voice now the only I hear.

The air became heavy, the closer I got, then the music and voices all fade.

It was silence now loudest, as I stood right in front her

feeling myself grasp for air.

Just standing and watching as I reached for something

that’s no longer meant to be had.

All I hear now, is wailing the sirens are calling

from sunset to sunrise across the horizon.

Highly Irregular

According to my records, The Modern Medici is a single man. I received no word from any maesters or suitors saying differently. No ravens have landed with any new news, things have been status quo. Which is why I’m here, delivering dramatizations and factual accounts based on my life experiences. Some may find them irregular, but I suppose life is irregular. So, I will continue to write, be awkward and iron through any irregularities as best I can…

Somewhere along the way, I lost perspective. I lost the ability to be able to step outside of my own POV and look inwards on myself. I feel my content suffered as I lost sight of my own personal goals and nearly drowned in the waters of a barely stable utopia. My schedule week after week was rushed and zombied through to get to a certain day, I even found myself wishing the others away to get to it. And once the day came, I only wanted one thing, Italian. I didn’t even need a menu or schedule of events, because I knew exactly what the chef was serving, week after week on this day. The same meal every time, but I convinced myself I loved it, because for so long it was all I knew…

Yet to be caught in a routine, as unhealthy and predictable as having Italian every week, is in all honesty a travesty. Especially so, when I’ve done myself no justice by continuing to visit a place with no rewards program. I’ve been a loyal customer for quite sometime. True, I may have glanced at a Mexican spot once or twice and even made a few comments about going but I never ordered. Not once. Because I knew I’d be eating Italian. But not ONCE, did I receive a thank you or loyalty program offer. Yet, the chef is upset I mentioned that another place might be worth a try. And here we are…

Speaking in ridiculous innuendos about food, as related to people and relationships. I regret not a word I’ve ever written, nor a comment I’ve made. I do, however, regret being so attached and spending so much of my capitol in a place with no rewards program. There was no loyalty card yet I was charged a years worth of membership fees. I honestly value all lessons learned, both the easy and the hard way. Oh and I say it again, I’ve been had! I’ve been took! I’ve been hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Led astray! Run amok! 

Italian is now officially played out. Next time, I’ll read the fine print. There’ll be benefits and rewards for my genuine loyalty, regardless of the establishment’s view on earned credits or I won’t spend capitol with them.

Ramblings of Unfinished…ness

La Sagrada familia is one of the most famous pieces of architecture in the world. It has fascinated me, in that it’s architect, Antoni Gaudi, died before his work could be finished. To this day, it remains unfinished in fact. The thought of beginning a project, something you know people will love, and not being able to see the completion bothered me. At first. Until I realized that I am unfinished as well, and may never be able to see what I intend for my completion to look like. 

But, if I can begin to craft what I intend for the finished product to look like. An outline, to provide an idea of what I had in mind and what I wanted my life’s work to look like… I acknowledge, things may not end up exactly like the blueprint. Do people find it more or less frustrating, to know beforehand, that the schedule of completion is tentative? Or would you prefer to believe things are on schedule, when just the opposite is true?