Passion is defined as being a “barely controllable” emotion. When properly nurtured, passion can sprout from a genuine connection and be safely devoured whole. The cultivation and preparation of true passion, though, is as rare as it is dangerous. A drug of sorts, that I must admit to being an abuser of. As with certain other drugs, there are good highs and bad highs. For the sake of happy endings everywhere, I’ll share one of those good highs with you.
A few years back, I was at a concert. The artist is a stoney, mellowed out rapper, so the crowd this night was especially chill. About the time the concert was ending, I made eye contact with a shorty across the room. It was packed so there was no way I could make it to her. I chalked it up as me just being on some fly shit, per usual, when I felt a tap on my shoulder. She had made her way, through the crowd and over to me to compliment my attire. “I like your sweatshirt” she said. Completely off guard, I froze and ending up staring at her. She was and still is gorgeous. Anyway, I got her number and was pretty much done with the concert for the night. I was plotting my next move, of course.
I decided to play it cool, but not too cool because this girl was a visualized fantasy of mine. Curly hair, gorgeous smile and a set of lips Kylie Jenner would be jealous of. I texted her the next day, hoping she wasn’t a walking blackout when she gave me her number the night before. She replied within the 30 minute window of interest. Not even 3 texts into the conversation, she told me she wasn’t tryna be cuffed and guys were always trying to cuff her, unsuccessfully. Turns out she was an electrical engineering student at Vandy, about to graduate. I found this interesting because I love smart women, but it also let me know to live in the now with her, not the future. And that, is precisely what we did.
For about a month, we went out to dinner when we could, even smoked a few js together. She was always pretty busy with school and I was working full time, so any moments together were precious to me. We had shared a few kisses together and now Valentine’s Day was coming up. I asked her for a date on the occasion and she agreed. I’d gotten her an edible arrangement and a teddy for her little surprise gifts. She lit up, in a way that said “this guy really likes me.” The wait for our table at J Alexander’s was pretty long, so in anticipation she brought some Jack Daniels for us to drink while we waited. By the time our timer buzzed,we both smelled of whiskey and cantaloupe juice from the fruit arrangement.
Once inside the restaurant the night continued on the light and airy path we’d started down. Chemistry and whiskey are one hell of a mix, along with Shorty’s intellect and appearance, it was causing a chemical reaction within me. Of course, the only way to enjoy the full experience would be to add a bottle of wine on top. We shared the bottle over dinner and it was on to the next phase. There’s a little part of town called “Love Circle” and there, you can see the entire cityscape from the top. When we arrived, there was already a fair share of cars parked, undoubtedly on the same thing we were on. We sparked a j, laughed together and even peed outside the car together. As completely out of it as we both were by now, luckily, her dorm was pretty much across the street, so we jettisoned there without making police contact.
When we arrived on campus, we bumped into a plethora of couples and friendly faces, all clearly calling out how way up we were. True, we were pretty inebriated but no doubt it was due to the fluttery passion we had been harvesting all night. As she held my hand, dragging me through campus on the way to her dorm, the nebulas were rising. After being heckled a bit more, we made it back to her dorm and I remember sitting on a couch. Above the couch, was a poster of the Notorious B.I.G puffing on a dutch. As I stared at the poster, reminiscing on what an amazing artist he was, I felt hands push me in the chest. Falling back, I looked up and there was everything that the night was supposed to be climbing on top of me.
Admittedly, I don’t remember much else from that point, except that all the passion that had built up between us was being unleashed. Two other people were in that room that night, very different from the ones who walked in. Truthfully, they’d been with us everywhere we’d gone until then, it just took the right mix of chemistry and chemicals to manifest. Somewhere, within myself and maybe her, those two still rest, waiting patiently to be called upon once more.